Trusting God or Your Own Abilities!

Trust Issues? We all have them, don’t we? Or maybe it’s just me. The funny thing about trust is that we don’t realize how much we lack it until we’re placed in a situation that exposes our deficiency. I recently experienced this firsthand when I was let go from a job I didn’t even want.

“How will I make money now?”

“Where will I go?”

“What will I do?”

“Does any job want me?”

These were the thoughts swirling in my mind. Instead of spiraling into the abyss of “what ifs,” I had to remind myself of who God is: empathetic, compassionate, forgiving, and sovereign—even in the midst of my confusion. Right after being let go, I went on a prayer walk to ask God how I ended up in this predicament. I was in a new state (having moved to Indiana from Illinois), living with a married couple I didn’t know, and now, at that moment, unemployed. I had no one to turn to but Him.

To give you a clearer picture of how I got here, let me take you back to where I was a year ago.

It started with my hormonal disorder (PCOS), whose symptoms began spiraling out of control. Around the same time, my heart was broken by an unrequited interest. Then, many dear friends left the fellowship I attended, which added another layer of heartbreak. My roommates and I also endured a psychologically disruptive neighbor for a year.

In October, I was robbed at gunpoint, which left me grappling with PTSD. Toward the end of the year, I received an unexpected pay cut, which significantly lowered my income. Meanwhile, my car seemed to develop new problems weekly. On top of all this, I felt lonely and neglected. Honestly, I felt like I was dying—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was losing hope. But most people wouldn’t have known, because I wasn’t transparent with myself. Looking back, I now realize I was growing bitter—bitter at people and, most of all, bitter at God.

There was no peace, security, or comfort in my life. Survival mode had become my default, and I didn’t know how to break free. I didn’t feel like I could share my true feelings with God, let alone with other people. I thought I needed to be strong, so I hid my weaknesses from those closest to me. I thought I needed to know it all, so I failed to ask for help. I thought I needed to do it all on my own, so I didn’t let anyone in. My relationship with God became shallow because I believed the solution relied solely on me.

“I need a new job, then I’ll be happy.”

“I need better friends, then I’ll be happy.”

“I need therapy, then I’ll be happy.”

“I need to leave this city, then I’ll be happy.”

These were the thoughts running through my mind. I sought happiness everywhere except in God. But in His infinite wisdom, God has a way of teaching us lessons so we can see the bigger picture.

In each of my struggles, I would have found peace if I had trusted God instead of trying to be Him. Would my circumstances have turned out differently? I don’t know. But my attitude and response to difficulties would have been completely different. It took time, but once I acknowledged my lack of trust, I chose to repent and began rebuilding that trust in Him.

Since then, I’ve been praying and reading my Bible more than ever before. I’ve discovered that there’s a strong link between trust in God and transparency. My trust in God is reflected in my willingness to be transparent with Him—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

There’s a verse in James that gave me a new perspective during this journey: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4, NIV)

Trust God and Drink Tea

Not. Lacking. Anything.

In another translation (NLT), the end of verse 4 reads “needing nothing.” I’ve come to believe that true spiritual maturity means needing nothing but God.

God allowed these trials to reveal areas of spiritual immaturity in my life: how I managed my job, my finances, my relationships, and, most importantly, my relationship with myself and my health. Being in need showed me where I needed God the most.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.” (Psalm 23:1, NLT)

If you’ve been experiencing similar struggles, I encourage you to start by being honest with yourself—and with God. Sometimes, you need to let God know you’re mad at Him, disappointed, or even feeling betrayed. God is relational, and trusting Him is the first step.

Bonus Story: Why Did My Employer Let Me Go?

Maybe you’re wondering why I was let go on my first day. I was curious, too, since I’d never been fired before. As I was leaving the restaurant, I pulled the manager aside to ask why she was letting me go.

She explained that she knew I was looking for temporary work (which was true) while searching for a full-time job. She said the serving job wasn’t worth my time or energy and that it could impact my performance if I found full-time employment.

She encouraged me to apply for jobs I genuinely wanted because, in her words, I was overqualified for the position. Her advice? Trust God on my journey and wait—even if it’s a long time—to find a job I truly love. It was clear to me: this was God disciplining and directing me. Getting fired turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Are you trusting God today?

Guest Contributor: "Manilyn Mae is an artist of life with a knack for seeing the beauty in things, people or her circumstances. Her music is a reflection of the feelings and experiences that go unexpressed in her world. Follow along her journey and more on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok!"

Instagram: http://instagram.com/manilynxmae